Saturday, May 4, 2013

Warping backwards through BlogTimeSpace...

Once again, I'm importing my earliest blog posts over to the Mad Science Writer blog, but this time I am presenting them here in reverse-chronological order, for optimum mental stimulation. Keep in mind, they date back to April 2005, before I had dared to take my life into my own hands.
` Back then, I was a real homebody and so had plenty of time to check my email. My last post in this sequence (which I'm presenting first), starts with an email from an editor mentor of mine, concerning exploding toads -- presumably for my subsequent investigation, and investigate I did! (Took me two tries to get to the bottom of it, though, thanks to another email a little while later.)

Great Exploding Toads, Batman!

I didn't edit this article much when I transferred it over to the Mad Science Writer blog, except for the portrayal of my translating the German into English -- originally, I had divided most of the sentences up into bits, like so:
Die Erdkröte (The toads) atmet nur noch schwach (weakly draw a deep breath), ihr Körper bläht sich auf wie ein Ballon (their bodies blow themselves up like a balloon) bis ihr Magen schließlich herausquillt (until their stomachs finally pop out).
In reading this over, I realized that this arrangement might infuriate a lot of readers, so I changed it from parts of a sentence alternating in German and English to entire sentences.
` As for the whole 'exploding toad' phenomenon, it reminds me of 'cattle mutilations' and the like, which are caused by flies and scavenger birds eating all the softest tissues, and blamed on strange phenomena such as satanic cults or aliens.

The next post in reverse order is somewhat disconcerting -- a very 'flat' trip to a very three-dimensional Whidbey Island. Not only were my descriptions a reflection of my own dismay at this, but there are no photos, as I did not have a digital camera. Nevertheless, it's an interesting head-trip:

Landslide-Sliding - How we celebrated Dirt Day.

Next in sequence is a post that illustrates the type of defensive thinking that sparked in my mind after something really bizarre and upsetting would happen. I found out later, however, that the fault of this incident was probably more in the psycho Neo-Nazi than in me and my sleep-starved brain:

Does Insomnia Ruin Your Life?

Not surprisingly, for this stage in my life, I was focusing on times when I was not allowed to sleep, yet it appears that I was not yet even aware of feeling an intense fear of lying down. That's just one amazing example of what one can live with every day and not even know -- and then recognize and get rid of.

And now for some laughs, and more emails -- you see why I put this one last? I used to subscribe to a certain Yahoo group for a 'demented' band called Barnes & Barnes, which I had decided to share on my blog, just for the surreality of it all:

What did one Barnes say to the other? (And who are these weirdos, anyway?)

According to Wikipedia, 2005 was also the year that Barnes & Barnes were inducted into the Comedy Music Hall of Fame -- along with Dr. Demento, I see!
` As for Joey Migeed (a.k.a. The Swill Man), I've sort of fallen out of touch with him, but apparently, his voice has dropped considerably, and, well, he's gotten... weird.

I was just in the act of formulating a comedic ending to this post when someone asked me if I wanted to see "the excitement" going on downstairs. This quickly ended in me watching him asphyxiate a small bird while absorbed in a hockey game on TV, yelling "Score!" as the life went out in the bird's eyes.
` Yes, really.
` It really sort of ties in nicely with the exploding toads, there. If anyone wants me, I'll be at the beach, fantasizing about scenes from The Birds. That is all.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I want to know what you're thinking! Please tell me -- you don't need to sign up, just go!