...And whatever did happen with my phone and computer?

Bottom line: Computer = Still Broken. Phone = Discovered It Had Been Destroyed, So Had To Replace. There's a little more to it than that, if you care to look...

My first YouTube Video! Success!

Not wanting to bother with editing for my first video, I decided to do it all in one shot. Enjoy!


Next time, I'll be writing with both hands at once. I'm not sure how popular that was on Facebook, but I bet it'll be more popular with YouTube if I do it in several of my vids!

My first break from two decades of chronic pain, and other exciting news!

The middle panel is a proto-human orgy!

I'm feeling so well, I'm able to stay standing at the shelf for hours at a time, working on a project while blessed by Ganesha, Shiva, and Vishnu!

As I've mentioned here and there on this blog, I've been disabled and in chronic pain since 1995, thanks to a lot of horror and abuse and then people making fun of me and telling me that I'm only pretending to be disabled and in pain.
Now, thanks to a few years of physical therapy, which I've been doing thanks to Dr. Hypno (not to mention frequent use of small doses of SARMs), my body is close to being recovered. Most of the strain is gone, I rarely have problems eating or breathing, but my body is still asymmetrical.
My left foot will never be the same, though it's coming along as well and the skin between my toes is becoming less like rawhide. Even so, my doctor was amazed at how thick the skin is and how impervious it is to pain when she blasted the living daylights out of it when freezing the warts.

So, what triggered the complete relief of pain? Well, not long ago, I was dealing with not only chronic pain, but the kind of pain that women typically deal with on a regular basis, and just couldn't handle it so well. I noticed that eating 20 mg of CBD edibles resulted in all of the pain out to my wrists and ankles more or less disappearing. It took an hour or so to kick in, though.
A couple days later, I went back to the weed store and got something that works faster, Wonderland Enchantmint Cheshire Cat CBD sublingual breath spray. I was feeling much better to begin with, but I noticed that a few spritzes and some indica weed and ibuprofen had a similar effect, and it started more or less right away. The pain was gone, except in my hands and feet.
The next morning, my pain levels were still relatively low. I had some more indica and ibuprofen and several spritzes, and before I knew it, all of the pain was gone, even in my neck, earlobes, and my fingertips, which had been hurting for various numbers of years. I was amazed that buttoning my shirt didn't feel like pressing on a bruise.

Once all this pain was disrupted, this was on July 26, it just hasn't come back as bad! HOLY RUSTED SALAD GREENS, BATMAN!

Why didn't I figure this out before? Well, I knew it would probably work at high doses, but I wasn't so sure it would affect me without inducing couch lock, and I would probably use them up quickly. Well, not only have I been more energetic than ever, I used up that entire 60-spritz bottle in about four days.
Then, I got a FairWinds high CBD Citrus tincture, comes in a dropper bottle, it's about the same price but twice as strong. That bottle lasted me until today, when I used up the very last of it this morning. It's lucky that I went to the store yesterday and picked up the last bottle they had!

So, the weight of chronic pain has been lifted, it's so much easier to move! And speaking of, the nerve damage in my upper lip is almost healed, especially on the right side. I can hardly believe how far it's come over the years, but I think I may make a full recovery, or at least close enough!

I am now borrowing a different laptop (one that is not compatible with my backup drive, alas) and wrote a really great little article (all while standing on a platform with a rubber mat). I decided to wait until this morning to look it over before publishing it. And then, when I took the laptop out of sleep mode, Windows Update occurred.
I figured it would be OK, since I saved my work on WordPad. But to my astonishment, I opened 'recent documents' only to find one item, and it for was a blog post written by the laptop's owner. The file that I had saved (allegedly) was nowhere to be found on the hard drive.

I completely don't understand this.

In any case, the other project I've been working on is a comic book, which I plan to have ready for CSI-Con Las Vegas (it's like The Amazing Meeting, but in October). So, if I'm not writing the most, it's because I'm spending so much time standing at the shelf with Ganesha and Shiva and Vishnu and Dead Jesus, who are blessing my work.

Before CSI Con, I hope to get my phone back, and the replacement motherboard for the replacement motherboard.

Until I get all that straightened out, I won't be able to get my podcast Skeptophany up and rolling. Instead, I shall do a video. And that video will be on my new blog, the one that will have Skeptophany when that comes around! Yes!

Recovering since NECSS...

I'm still coughing up phlegm from the infection I got at NECSS, which was over a month ago. Yes, I got to go to New York and talk to some cool people and see some cool talks and shows! I finally even got say to Bill Nye about how it's me who's been saying "Muahahaha" after he says "Change the World!", and we even had a back-and-forth during his talk where we did that!

I am able to access the data on my backup drive, using Linux, so my podcast is still 'there'. The linux machine I am borrowing is large enough so I don't have to kill myself hunching over and giving myself a migraine, and will allow me to access unfinished drafts of my blog.

However, it won't allow me to install Audacity so that I can continue working on my podcast and finish episodes and all that. It's because laptop's person can't remember the admin password, and trying to change the password by going into recovery mode and using the shell prompt box also doesn't work because it won't allow me to type characters into the prompt box!

As for my laptop, I finally got a new motherboard, but the video portion doesn't work, so I'm going to have to send it back. It's been broken since the end of April, when I was finally feeling well enough to stand at it for long periods of time and just write massively, which apparently caused it to blow out in the sweltering heat at 4 a.m.

And me, I'm feeling considerably less pain than I remember feeling in a couple of decades. Things are good, and I'm able to do almost as much physical therapy as I was doing for a while. I'm about to go run stairs, which I haven't done in ages.

All in all, NECSS was fun and really important to my self-knowledge, which I'll get into later. I've been pretty sick and physically miserable since then, though, but am finally feeling well enough to stand in front of my computer for longer and longer periods of time. Well, gotta run! Up, then down, then up...

Technical difficulties and NECSS

UPDATE: Holy shit! I can't even access any of my podcast data, even on my backup drive! I hope my hard drive is still OK, this is really crazy, all of this happening at once.

I've spent the past several months in great pain and agony and have been pushing myself beyond my limits just to get enough physical therapy to make progress. I explain about that on my podcast. No sooner did I begin to recover, and was able to spend more time out of bed, standing because I can't really sit, than I decided to finish the first three episodes of my podcast.

So, I put a rubber mat on the floor to stand on, got to work and... after seven years of service, the motherboard fried. Thank goodness for backup drives, I still have my raw material, so can, well, do it again. UPDATE: I may not. WHAT?!

This laptop that I'm borrowing is so slow that it cannot even access all those blog posts that I tried to sit down and write and found myself in crippling pain and had to stop. I didn't finish those posts, partly because of the debilitating pain when sitting down, but this laptop can't even access those drafts, so there's no way I can ever finish them unless I get a new machine! So, not much blogging can get done now.

The only reason I can make this post is because you don't have to access drafts in order to make a new post.

I can't type a whole sentence without craning my neck down, this is so painful. I'm going to record some more for my podcast, Skeptophany, while at NECSS, but when you get to hear any of that stuff depends on when I can buy a new machine. (Oh great... I may have to start over again, not to mention all the blog posts and stuff that I've been writing on my laptop.)

This smaller laptop is so painful on my wrists and I can't bend my neck down enough to look at the screen, so I'm typing this completely blind. There is no way in hell I can do anything on this machine, it's too slow, and I can't even look at the screen while I'm typing. I can't edit podcasts without some kind of mirror-contraption, assuming this machine is capable of running Audacity. Also, it's really hurting my arms and shoulders just to type on this laptop, I can't rest my hands on it like I did my huge laptop.

I have to get down on my knees on the rubber mat just to read this. Now I'm typing blind again. My Samsung phone's screen broke, I have my ideas about how that could have happened, and this was last December. The screen has now been replaced, but there is plastic wrap inside of the screen, so it doesn't work anyway. Well, whenever that gets fixed, I'll be able to get back on Facebook.

Also, my iPod died yesterday just after the laptop. You know, because I wanted to back up the stuff that's on it, and then dropped it.


All I can say is, NECSS is probably the thing I need. Hopefully I can stay out of the pain/lack of sleep/increased pain cycle while I am there, and then figure out if I can fix my laptop or get another.

Anyway, I'm going to bed now, I'm developing a migraine/tendonitis just from typing this. I won't be using this machine again.

Of Mulder, Mushrooms, and Mad Science Writing

Why do I call this blog 'Mad Science Writer'? I can tell you that it does not have anything to do with all this exploration of the inner worlds I keep going on about.
` On January 1, 2012, when I published the first post, I didn't know much about hypnosis beyond what I learned in college, and nothing about psychedelics other than people telling me of their experiences. At the time, I did not see any reason to learn more about either of these subjects.

A previous satirical blog of mine, Introspection of a Struggling Mad Science Writer, is the actual origin of this blog's title. I really, honestly had no idea it would turn out the way it did.
` At the time, I was too afraid to be controversial, often chasing low-hanging fruit and the same sort of subjects normally criticized in the mainstream Skeptic community.
` But, as time has gone on I've decided, to hell with that, my plan is to push the Overton Window! And if everything in my life goes right, someday I'll have to wear a bulletproof vest, just like David Silverman!

I figure that his strategies of making non-religious people seem more acceptable, and destroying the religious memes that poison our culture would work for other causes as well. That's right, this man has given me ideas. Be afraid.

And if that isn't enough, I'm branching out into podcasting, so I'll be infesting people's ears next! I vow to understand the software well enough to get my first three episodes of Skeptophony online by April! And if I'm really ambitious, I'll do even more than that!

In the meantime, I'll keep writing about stuff. And even back-posting all those drafts I never finished because I've had problems sleeping. It's been rough.
` But since I've had a regular mattress and not been sinking into memory foam hell, and my third year of physical rehab is seeing me now in sight of normal physical abilities, and an utter lack of pain, I'm feeling up to getting some writing done now. So I am!

There are many topics on my mind, but for now will only mention that my mom texted me the other day that she was watching the newest episode of the X-Files (reboot) where Mulder takes psilocybin mushrooms. As though by magic, I was able to find this episode and watch it for myself the very next day.
` Having never seen this iteration of the series, I thought the bantering between Scully and Mulder was adorable, as well as with the two new characters Einstein and Miller. Some parts I thought really worked, but the whole 'mushroom trip' thing, well, that kind of ruined the episode for me.

Basically, they need some information from this exploded guy who's in a coma, so Mulder's harebrained scheme is to take psilocybin capsules in order to somehow reach his mind. As the episode revealed, the scriptwriters didn't seem to know jack about what psychedelics actually do.

Here are my reactions to what I saw on the screen -- Spoilers!

"Spiritual" experiences versus delusional thinking: Not the same thing!

While I've met quite a few people of atheistic and/or skeptic bent, who show enthusiasm toward transcendent experiences and even psychedelic drugs, most seem to show a casual interest if any at all.
` On the extreme other end of the spectrum, I've met those who seem to think themselves "above" subjecting themselves to such experiences for themselves.

Particularly the ones that promise a truly spectacular adventure.

One activist for skepticism and against quackery and religious dogma, outright told me that practicing meditation is a form of "brainwashing".
` I tried to tell him that it is actually an exercise that helps you to control your ability to focus and stop tripping out about so much stuff. It helps decrease stress levels, and thus seems to be good for your health.
` Though increased scientific study is beginning to scrape the surface of such altered states, he didn't want to hear about it.

The need to experience zen consciousness, egolessness, transcendence, or whatever you want to call it, is not in any way the same as the need to believe in a supernatural world. Unfortunately, I have noticed that it is common for those of skeptical leanings to confuse the two concepts.

Considering what I've been studying for the past few years, I'm convinced that so-called transcendental or 'spiritual' states are among the most important and life-impacting states of consciousness that one can achieve.
` As I hope to have shown in previous blog posts, a solid argument can be made that those who don't believe in supernatural or spiritual realms really do crave so-called "transcendence" when they say they don't; it's just that they don't understand what this term refers to.

What is this with the apparent conflation between the desire for transcendent consciousness and the desire to believe? In an email to a number of skeptical activists (none of them Geo), I included the following quotations and points of consideration: